August 22nd, 2007


Unstable Ground

I feel very vulnerable right now.

It's now less than three weeks until I move to Germany for my year abroad. I really don't want to go. Not because I find it scary, although I do, but because it feels so much as if it's just getting in the way of things. I don't have a choice, though, beyond quitting my degree, which would be daft, so I'm off to Cologne in a fortnight. Holly and I will be spending three days (technically four, but we arrive late on Thursday) there before the course at Altenberg starts, largely to give us more time together before a year when times together will be brief and far-between, but also to get us used to Germany again. It took me some time when I went over there a month ago, and I don't want to arrive in Eutin saying things like "Ich habe gefergotten" or "Wo ist der Petrolstation?" (for the record, I can say both those things properly).

We just finished sorting out flights and hostel bookings. Altenberg ought to be sorted too, meaning that the focus shifts to Eutin. I still haven't got somewhere to stay: my contact found an apartment for me in Malente, which sounded perfect, but I then went to Amecon, managing to leave my phone behind, and when I got back, it had disappeared. My brother knew where it was, but wouldn't get it for me, so Mum did when my parents returned back from France on Tuesday. As such, I'm guessing that apartment won't be available any more, and with limited time left to sort things out, I'm rather stressed about it. Still, that beats worrying about the actual job of being a language assistant, which the booklet makes seem very demanding indeed (try and do this, but be aware of that, and when doing this or that, these rules are important to follow, except in exception).

It's not as if I was in a position to tackle all this recently anyhow. Holly came over here for two weeks, one either side of Amecon, and we spent a lot of time together. I actually felt like going out for a change, so we went and watched The Simpsons Movie*, and an interesting and well-rated French film called Private Fears in Public Places, bought several items, including some Neil Gaiman books for me**, a comic about corgis for Holly, and a DS for me***, along with Pokémon Pearl****. We also ate twice at Dim-T, which is now officially our favourite restaurant, offering gorgeous oriental dishes for reasonable prices, and in a beautiful setting, with copious amounts of green tea*****. We also spent a lot of time at home, finishing watching Death Note******, starting watching Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei*******, watching some Lucky Star, and watching the BBC's India & Pakistan******** season.

Eight footnotes aside, when Holly had to go back on Sunday, I really missed her, to the extent that I didn't get up on Monday until mid-afternoon, as I felt that doing most things were not as worthwhile without Holly there to do them with (such as watch anime, go out, even cook food like my chillipasta).

Time is going past so quickly this Summer. Germany looms larger, whilst weeks with Holly, and Amecon, are now in the past once again. My time here now seems so short that I'm worrying instead of actually making best use of it. I honestly feel as if I'm now standing on unstable ground, and only having accommodation sorted can really help me off it. However, with my contact's phone now answering right now, and her only checking e-mail every so often, I can't see that happening today at least.

I feel very vulnerable right now.

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