February 9th, 2007


Nineteen End

So I have twenty minutes left of teenagehood, legally. I was actually born in mid-afternoon, so I could sleep easy tonight knowing I'm still a teenager, but it doesn't quite work like that.

I must admit, the prospect is rather scary, far more so than at 18. At 18, adulthood was a unexpected rush. However, 18 only sounds like one more than 17. 20 is a whole other inital digit, and my many years of ending my age with 'teen' will end. 'Twenty' is an age that doesn't look backwards. 20 isn't initially only three years past 18, it's a year before 21, the Golden Age. 20 is another of those ages that signify adulthood, like 16, 18 and 21 do. 20 means you've lived through two decades. 1987 is a familar year to me...and saying '2007' makes it ring all the more clearly. It doesn't help that I still don't feel as if I'm in 2007. It's not 2006, but I've not yet entered the Seventh Heaven, despite what my photo album from early January would attest.

In this past year of my life, I've moved on a fair bit. By February 2006, I was very used to Williamson living, halls, uni and the like. Gosh, but it seems so long ago now...I'm so used to Hazel House now. I was comfortable here in September, and the feeling has only increased since, despite my constant reminders that this stage of life is only temporary. About a year ago, I went to my Grandparents for my birthday, with my late Nana still around, and went to Societies Ball shortly after, to see German win World Cultures Society, a testament to emilyhannon's hard work. It's her birthday too, by the way, although she's already in it, being in Germany and all (as I will be next year). This birthday, I'll be going for a meal with my Grandad, who on the phone currently is scared of not doing anything and vegetating, and then going to Societies Ball, with the distant, but hopeful prospect of winning Best Editor for my work for The Orbital.

Ah, life moves on. Since last Aquarius, which I ended in Munich, and shall end this year in Berlin, I have moved into real accommodation, with housemates. I have moved onto more difficult stages of Uni life, and primarily through the Orbital, but also with German Soc and the Writers' Circle, I have learnt a lot about teamwork. I completed my first paid job over the Summer, doing something I enjoyed. I subsequently lost the earnings from it, shortly before I lost my Nana: I learnt to cope, as we must. I've thought a lot about my own future, and moved closer to shaping it. I've had many special memories of all kinds, be they the mountains of Mittenwald, seeing my work published in a magazine for the first time, succeeding through the exam period, eating at Canary Wharf as the World Cup began, leaving Williamson behind for ruins, going to Amecon and having to walk 40 minutes to and from our accommodation, struggling home on a Long Walk from Windsor, watching fireworks at a steam fair in the last weeks of Summer, meeting my literary-spirtied grandcousin at my Nana's funeral, going to Video Games Live and hearing One Winged Angel live for the first time, passing a Job Interview for Sainsburies who then turned me down becauswe of my lecture times, enjoying a magical Christmas dinner here at Hazel after essay nightmares, Christmas at two sides of the country, leaving Germany as 2006 ended, and witnessing gales, snow and election campaigns here at RHUL.

I can now only look forward. I am twenty years old.