Current mood:	stressed
Current music:	-

Unstable Ground
I feel very vulnerable right now.

It's now less than three weeks until I move to Germany for my year abroad. I really don't want to go. Not because I find it scary, although I do, but because it feels so much as if it's just getting in the way of things. I don't have a choice, though, beyond quitting my degree, which would be daft, so I'm off to Cologne in a fortnight. Holly and I will be spending three days (technically four, but we arrive late on Thursday) there before the course at Altenberg starts, largely to give us more time together before a year when times together will be brief and far-between, but also to get us used to Germany again. It took me some time when I went over there a month ago, and I don't want to arrive in Eutin saying things like "Ich habe gefergotten" or "Wo ist der Petrolstation?" (for the record, I can say both those things properly).

We just finished sorting out flights and hostel bookings. Altenberg ought to be sorted too, meaning that the focus shifts to Eutin. I still haven't got somewhere to stay: my contact found an apartment for me in Malente, which sounded perfect, but I then went to Amecon, managing to leave my phone behind, and when I got back, it had disappeared. My brother knew where it was, but wouldn't get it for me, so Mum did when my parents returned back from France on Tuesday. As such, I'm guessing that apartment won't be available any more, and with limited time left to sort things out, I'm rather stressed about it. Still, that beats worrying about the actual job of being a language assistant, which the booklet makes seem very demanding indeed (try and do this, but be aware of that, and when doing this or that, these rules are important to follow, except in exception).

It's not as if I was in a position to tackle all this recently anyhow. Holly came over here for two weeks, one either side of Amecon, and we spent a lot of time together. I actually felt like going out for a change, so we went and watched The Simpsons Movie*, and an interesting and well-rated French film called Private Fears in Public Places, bought several items, including some Neil Gaiman books for me**, a comic about corgis for Holly, and a DS for me***, along with Pokémon Pearl****. We also ate twice at Dim-T, which is now officially our favourite restaurant, offering gorgeous oriental dishes for reasonable prices, and in a beautiful setting, with copious amounts of green tea*****. We also spent a lot of time at home, finishing watching Death Note******, starting watching Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei*******, watching some Lucky Star, and watching the BBC's India & Pakistan******** season.

Eight footnotes aside, when Holly had to go back on Sunday, I really missed her, to the extent that I didn't get up on Monday until mid-afternoon, as I felt that doing most things were not as worthwhile without Holly there to do them with (such as watch anime, go out, even cook food like my chillipasta).

Time is going past so quickly this Summer. Germany looms larger, whilst weeks with Holly, and Amecon, are now in the past once again. My time here now seems so short that I'm worrying instead of actually making best use of it. I honestly feel as if I'm now standing on unstable ground, and only having accommodation sorted can really help me off it. However, with my contact's phone now answering right now, and her only checking e-mail every so often, I can't see that happening today at least.

I feel very vulnerable right now.

* = Maybe not the best thing ever, but better than many of the series since about 2000, and still very funny. I really loved the classic series references, and I can't look at a normal 'Stop' sign anymore.

** = Stardust, in antcipation of a film whose trailer had me lost for breath, and the first Sandman, which I'd been meaning to buy for years.

*** = Which was expensive, but it's easier to take to Germany with me than a PS2, and what's more, Holly and I can use it to chat for no extra cost, as well as play against each other. It's a portable Skype as well as a handheld console. Mine is black, Holly's is blue.

**** = I once was such a fan, I imported Blue over from the US before it came out here, and had a guide to Gold and Silver before they were even released in the States. I find it relaxing, even if there is no Ecruteak City at night (oddly enough, my favourite memory from the whole franchise). Before anyone asks to challenge me, though, my top team is only Lv25 and I'm only just at Solaceon, so wait a while.

***** = For someone who once drank only Green Tea and Mint, because green tea was healthy, but who didn't like the stuff without the mint diluting its taste, I now really love it. I'm trying to cut down on the coffee in favour of my green teas, or my rooibos if it's late. The Green Teas at Dim-T are served the proper way, with little bowls, which adds to the taste, although the fact they're brewed and not from a tea bag also helps.

****** = I loved it, even if *insert spoiler here* upset me quite a bit. A most interesting series, and also, thank goodness we saw at least up to Episode 25 before Amecon.

******* = This is surprisingly good. It's a clever concept: addressing some of Japan's real social problems in an indirect way. I'm also hooked on the opening theme (bure bure bure bure), and some of the jokes have been truly hysterical.

******** = I find myself wanting to travel there again. The whole region from the Persian frontier to the East's Far East is fascinating in its relations with each other. I'd love to travel from Karachi up through Northern India, into the Himalayas to Tibet, down into China and across to Japan. The Silk Route forms the basis for perhaps my best novel idea yet.